Truly Loved + Wholly Surrendered

writing my journey in faith and in life in the safety of His refining love

2018 Reflection, Looking Ahead to 2019

2018 was quite the year for me, with emotions all over the place as I dealt with the loss of my dear grandmother. It’s been almost a year since she passed, and just a couple weeks ago, I started to feel like myself again; glory to God for not giving up on me! I know He’s been working in my heart and my life to heal and comfort. He knew my pain even before it began. But, He has turned my mourning into dancing (Psalms 30:11), and brought healing into my soul, which I’ve written about, previously. 

2018 was also the year that I learned a lot about who God is, and how much He loves and cares. I’ve learned that God is still good, regardless of the circumstances … and I’m learning (still) to see His hand in everything that happens over the course of the year. For example, I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have gotten my job if my family didn’t encourage me to make connections during my internship; I praise Him for giving the job I currently hold (although it’s only been 4 months), and I know that He orchestrated the situations and divine opportunities to meet my (now) boss during the summer. I would not have done that on my own, whatsoever. He gets all the glory. 

I also know that He was good in that my grandma prayed and recited the Bible when she was sick. He was faithful to her, just as she was faithful to Him, all her life. He allowed her last few months to be months of prayer and seeking Him more. She studied, learned, and memorized Scripture early on in her life and took her prayer life seriously and I believe it gave her great comfort as she was lying in bed. I can only hope and pray that I would become such a warrior for God. I’ve learned to hold on to the hope of eternity in 2018, that God’s word will not return void. Jesus promised us that He would return, and that His children would be all together reigning in glory with Him (Matthew 24; Revelation 22). So, I know that my grandmother is in Heaven rejoicing and worshiping her King, Lord, and Savior. I hold on to the hope, that I too, will see her once more, for eternity, and we will worship the Lord Jesus Christ together. This hope is a God-given hope as I remember His promises and learn more of His character.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” 
—Psalms 147:3

One thing that I may have not done well in 2018 was allowing people to see me and get to know me, who I really am. I know that I’ve missed out on great opportunities to let God use different people to minister to me in my life, and I’ve missed the mark on ministering to others, despite what I was going through. For that, I apologize. I will aim to do better this year, and it’s actually one of the goals that I’ve set for myself for 2019.


If you know me, you know that I’ve never really set goals in my life, but before 2019 began, God placed on my heart to set some goals and start. So, I’m starting.

It’s a weird feeling, in a way, to start something I’ve never taken seriously, but I know that if God wills it, He has something in mind, something in store for me, as I listen to Him and take on a new perspective.

I’m actually excited that I’ve started because it’s already given me something to look forward to in each month. I’m excited to see how God will change my heart, my thoughts, and how my life will or will not change. The change might even be really small to some, but I choose to count it all joy. Some goals I’ve set are really convicting, and I really don’t want to start them, but I also understand that it’s for my benefit, so I’m trusting God in that area. Some goals are lofty and big, but I still want to see what God is going to reveal as I begin those goals.

I may even have set too many goals, but that’s the process of it! I need to learn what goals are reasonable and achievable and which ones should be scaled back some. Nonetheless, I’m curious to see how 2019 will look like for me.

With all that being said, I want to thank you for bearing with me, especially in my lack of writing. I want to thank my parents and my brother for always being willing to teach me new things and correct me when I’m wrong. Most of all, I thank God for showing me the way, and revealing His plan and will for my life, especially in the midst of such a long and difficult year. I have high hopes that 2019 will be a year of blessings, not just for myself, but for my friends and family, and everyone who knows the Lord. I also pray that those who don’t know Him yet will come to know Him and begin to see the blessings God bestows on His children. I praise Him for all that He is, and that He accepts me just as i am.

I’m ready for 2019, I’m ready to see everything God has in store for me. I’m ready to take on this new year!

I hope you are too. Be blessed, my friends.


“For His merciful kindness is great toward us, and the truth of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!” —Psalms 117:2

Yuliana Oliver

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