Truly Loved + Wholly Surrendered

a faith not reliant on emotions

In my last post, I mentioned that when my husband and I were driving home, he had asked me what the Lord is teaching me in this season and I didn’t quite know what that was. As Samuel continued asking me questions, I came to realize that I have recently noticed my reactions to songs and in general, my learning and growth no longer come with a burst of emotions.

Instead, I have this inner, quiet emotional reaction of seeing how God has answered prayer, and internally, there is this, ‘Yay! I got it!’ However, externally, you may not know that there’s something going on.

As Samuel and I talked about it more, the Lord showed me that this “lack of emotions” is not necessarily a bad thing … it’s more of a mature thing. Yes, God has given us emotions, but my faith is not dependent on how I feel; it’s dependent on what God says in His Word.

When I was a teenager, I attended a church that focused more on declaring and claiming things in the Word for your life—which isn’t necessarily wrong in and of itself, but it was counterproductive to base my entire faith on it. While it hasn’t been the entirety of my faith, it has been a big part, and in recent years, I’ve seen how doubts have crept into my mind because if I’ve declared something and then it doesn’t happen, what then is my faith? Am I devoid of faith altogether? Why didn’t it happen? Does God even answer my prayers anymore?

These are hard questions and doubts to grapple with as a teenager, and I’ve carried those questions well into adulthood. But the reality is, my faith is based on God, not my own merit. There’s nothing I did or didn’t do that God takes into account in regard to whether or not I have faith. On days I don’t feel like He’s close or answering my prayers, I still read His Word, worship, talk about what He’s doing in my life, but then, where are the emotions?

I no longer have this dramatic emotional roller coaster when it comes to my faith. I have a more still, peaceful resolve in my heart that He is with me, that He is working, and that I am growing. But getting to this point was hard and it took a lot of conversations for me to realize that not everything I had been taught or exposed to was that of the Lord. God doesn’t want me to base my life on how I feel … He wants me to base my life on Him and Him alone.

As a result, it has led to this quiet nudging from the Holy Spirit: “This is correct. You’re doing the right thing. This was self-sacrifice. This is what I want you to be doing. Keep walking in this direction.”

Yes, being positive and speaking life into situations is a good thing, but relying on the declaration instead of on God is not—and that’s what I had been doing for years. Really, God wants me to give Him my emotions and let Him work, trust that He is working, and trust that He sees me and forgives me and loves me. It’s not that my life is devoid of emotions, but my faith is no longer dependent on what emotions I feel—and that is true freedom.

Knowing Him in the quietness of my soul grounds me more than feeling a burst of emotion that only lasts a short time. Quietness of my soul is eternal and life-giving.

Even if I don’t feel that I’m getting anywhere in my faith, obeying His Word in the midst of it reveals that I am, in fact, living out my faith. The choice to live it out remains, but the expectation—and later great disappointment—of seeing a big emotional reaction no longer binds me.

Friends, I hope that you will come to know this quietness, if you haven’t already. Let the Lord free you from all bondage. I pray you, too, will learn to rest in the confidence of who He is, and let your faith be an inner knowing that’s found deep within your soul.

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“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. … Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of Adonai forever.“ || Psalm 23:2-3, 6, TLV

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.“ || 2 Corinthians 3:17, LEB